“Go back to the doctor, even if it is Dr. Veach,” I say quickly, trying to talk past the thickness in my throat. “Talk to Brenda. Tell both of them exactly what you told me.” 

            “I will not. It’s a thought, Susie, and thoughts don’t mean anything.” She begins to wipe the bottom cabinets.  I can’t tell what relief I feel at seeing the blue cloth move again.  

            We sit at the table and begin to talk of normal things. About the price of eggs and butter, and how well the kids are doing in school. Lilyanne doesn’t like the long bus ride, and Lucky won’t buy her a car. She wants to stay longer after school so she can be on the yearbook staff and the girl’s basket- ball team. 

            Lilyanne can be a strain on Nonna, but I know she has her heart, so I’m shocked when I hear her say, “Lilyanne and I had a talk the other day, and suddenly I saw things her way. She wants to live in town and be a part of things. She said her Aunt Susie would take her, and I think that would be best.”

            What are you doing, Nonna? Are you giving me your child?

            “I’d take Lilyanne in a minute, but now’s not the time to talk about it. You’re not yourself, and we have Lucky to deal with.”

            “Lucky’s leaving for a hunting trip on Friday. He’ll be gone all weekend.” 

            She smiles, like a conspirator, not bothering with the ten after six pose. My pulse quickens. 

            “Nonna? Are you saying what I think?” 

            I want it spelled out. 

            “I sure am, Susie, but I’ll need your help. There’s so much to pack, and I don’t know where this place is. Would you come early Sunday?”

            “Call me as soon as Lucky leaves Friday night.” 

            “Thank you!” She lays her hand on mine; we’re closer than blood sisters.  Nature is trying to atone for the terrible mistake of planting Lucky in my mother’s womb. “Susie, I may need help selling,” she continues, “I don’t know how to talk.”

            “I’ll help until you don’t need me.” 

            ‘I’ll always need you, Susie-Q.”  

            Headlights suddenly flood the yard. The men are back later than expected, and as soon as my brother enters, he calls for Nonna to make coffee.

            “None for us,” says Jim. 

I can’t stop smiling. Nonna is smiling, too. Smiling through every pore, smiling through her eyes. We’re like schoolgirls, trying not to bust out laughing. 

“Nonna, thanks for another wonderful meal.”  Jim looks from one to the other, not sure what’s going on. “It’s been a pleasure.”  

            She nods and stays in the doorway.  Lucky follows Jim to the car. He’s decided not to buy the dog, but I don’t listen to his reason. 

            When we arrive at the fork that leads to town, some fool comes around a curve without dimming his lights and blinds me good.

            Usually that kind of thing drives me crazy, but when I shut my eyes, I don’t see spots but a young Nonna Gaylene, fresh and awakened to life. The old Nonna has been burned clean. 

            I inch closer to Jim and put my head against his shoulder. 

            “You’re up to something,” he tells me.

            ‘Yes, I am.” I pat his knee.

            Actually, I’m filling with plans.  First, I’ll take Nonna to the flea market and get some cash in her hands. Then we’ll buy a rug and a couple of decent lamps. I’ll talk her into seeing a doctor who will give her estrogen shots. Estrogen will stop the crazy talk. 

            Her life will change and so will Lucky’s. Poor, sweet Nonna, I think, only she could believe it her duty to love some damn-saved man.